Recently in Stupid Bastards Category

Oh yes, I am an idiot....

I don't usually post personal, erm, shortcomings on this blog, but once in a while, I do something so stupid as to warrant disclosure. As a result, I am naming myself a Stupid Bastard and giving myself a Bernie Award.

Last night I went to the party for upcoming IFC release and Tribeca Film Festival selection You Kill Me, directed by John Dahl and starring Ben Kingsley, Téa Leoni and Luke Wilson. While it was a decent party (not too crowded, some nice vittles, good crowd) the DJ lost the plot about 1/3 of the way through the party, moving from a pretty hip selection of Smiths/Fratellis/Stroks/Perter Bjorn & John and the like to, well , crap. However, that's not my point. My point is, I am an idiot. Why? This is why:

This is Diana, the beautiful young Portuguese woman I met at the party. As you can see in the above photo, she is quite fetching and looks lovely in my fedora. Now, why am I stupid? Well, Diana and her friends (including her cousin who rather off the cuff decided I should marry Diana) went on after the party to a local club, asking me to go with them. But me? I went home.

Oh yes, I am an idiot.

So apparently I had the junk filter on my blog set a little bit too high and several legitimate comments were deemed junk by the filter and thus were not emailed to me for approval. If the comment is by a legitimate person and not a spam ad for viagra, xanax, online poker, etc. I am generally of a mind to publish them and then respond to them, if needed. Thus, I apologize to Claire, Tully, Dickmac, Manohla Dargis, Richard Schenkman and others whose comments were inadvertently left off the blog. As a bit of a "make good," I will post them all in full here, complete with links to the original posts and I will, over the next day or so, reply to some of them on the original posts, themselves. Even the following insane, moronic and anti-Semitic rant by "Claire" (whose email address I was extremely tempted to post...):

You stupid kike, CNN was NOT celebrating Castro's illness, the cubans [sic] in Miami were. Why? Castro has tortured and killed thousands of Cubans during the past 40 years, that is why. CNN was just reporting their joy over that dictator's possible death. Don't you dirty jews [sic] have dozens of hollocaust [sic] movies coming out every year? should [sic] people feel happy about concentration camps? should people mourn Hitler's death? get real asswipe!
From a post entitled: CNN International - Offensive Ghouls

Well Claire, you're wrong, stupid and a bigot and really, I shouldn't waste my time responding to anyone who starts a comment with "you stupid kike" and includes the insane ramblings that you do....so I won't. Engaging people like you in debate is like trying to convince a chair that it's a butterfly. It's just not going to happen. Just crawl back into your hole and please...don't breed. Out of curiosity, does anyone else see the inherant contradiction in someone attacking Castro's perceived human rights violations while at the same time calling me a "dirty Jew?"

Which brings us to our next comment. Click the link below to see Richard Schenkman's far more rational, eloquent, educated, reasonable and intelligent response to this post: It's Time To Go, Joe: An Open Letter To Senator Joe Lieberman and the rest of the comments I missed over the past 6 months or so....

Some model wannabe is currently having a loud conversation in the Starbucks I am in with her dealer. It goes like this:

"But then I have to wait until 7! I don't want to wait until 7!"
Pause
"It's 6."
"Can't I come over now? I really need something! I'm like, totally falling asleep!"
Pause, while I and the rest of the customers try to stifle our laughs and look at each other incredulously.
"No! I'm totally falling asleep!"
Gets up and walks to the entryway and we cease to stifle our laughs and a full-on belly laugh guffaw takes over the room.

She definitely gets a Bernie Award for that. What a Stupid Bastard!

The Rabbi Report's 2nd ever Bernie Award for Stupid Bastards has been awarded to outgoing Newcastle United fuckwit winger Laurent Robert. For the second time in as many days, has been fined two-week's wages (£80,000) for opening his giant Gallic gob. Robert, who's season-long loan to relegation-risk Portsmouth becomes final on Friday, has verbally attacked his soon-to-be-former manager Graeme Souness (Left) twice in two days. On Tuesday he referred to Souness as "childish," continuing, "We would have won the UEFA Cup last season if Souness had possessed the intelligence," according to published reports.

The Chimp in Charge is about to give a nationally televised speech on Iraq. W will almopst certainly use: democracy, liberty, freedom and of course, tea bagging god.

Check back here for my, uh, analysis of the speech.

The Rabbi Report's first ever "Stupid Bastard Award" goes to Ipswich, England's own Bernie Ecclestone. The president and CEO of Formula One Management and Formula One Administration, Ecclestone owns such large percentage shares of the companies that make up Formula One that he's considered the de factor head of the circuit. You might say he's like the Karl Rove of F-1. But less evil and more, well, stupid.

On Sunday he was asked by WRTV in Indianapolis about his opinion of Indy 500 breakout star Danica Patrick and he replied: