Recently in Random Funny Shit Category
This sign gave me visions of Joe Buck wearing a kimono while working in a massage parlor to pay off his modeling school debts.
I think I need more sleep.
First there came "I'm fucking Matt Damon" and it was funny and we laughed. And now? Jimmy has gotten his revenge and what sweet, sweet comedy revenge it is. Sure, the song's not as catchy, but this one's got Huey Lewis and Harrison Ford!
Ok, so Matt Damn crossed a picket line and that's fucked, but DAMN, if this isn't funny. I mean, "Let's put that guitar down and go fuck Matt Damon."
My bad. This was filmed pre-strike.
I loved There Will Be Blood. Truly loved it. I think it's a masterpiece in a year with a surprisingly large number of exceptional films (more in my upcoming top ten list and TWBB review) but there were a few times when I couldn't help looking a the screen and thinking Jesus, he looks like Thomas Magnum!
Think what you will about Jeffrey Wells, but his commenters are often some of the more entertaining around. I wish some of my readers would get into it like folks do on Jeff's site, but maybe I'm not controversial enough, or something. I know I have opinionated readers!
At any rate, in the comment section below his post about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's decision to put certain films into the comedy, rather that the drama category, a debate about Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited erupted, frequently invoking the quote: "Look at those assholes," perhaps the funniest line in the film. Well, commenter a1 replied with easily the funniest comment on the board:
"Look at these assholes" Wasn't that the original title of "Margot at the Wedding"?
A few seconds of Czech Scooby Doo, recorded at about 5am, on my way up to my room from Hell in the basement of the Hotel Thermal in Karlovy Vary on July 7th.
A thought struck me when I was riding in from the aiport in Toronto, the other day: In Canada, are they just simply called "Geese?"
Lady: What are you all waiting for?
26th guy in line for iPhone: The new Harry Potter book.
27th guy in line: Shrek 4.
28th guy in line: Free crack. [Lady walks away.]
--AT&T store, Union Square
From Overheard In New York
The funny thing is, the last guy wasn't that far off....
Overheard in New York is my new favorite site. These are so perfect that it's a must for any writer of fiction. These quotes are so unreal, they have to be real! So, today's quote of the day from Overheard in New York:
Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can't kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia.
This young man was clearly over-served but is having a hell of a good time, apparently!
Ok, this might just be the funniest thing ever. Andy Samberg wishes he wrote this. Seriously. I think this ranks up there with Harry the Hamster as my funniest post, ever.
Oh, just in case the title didn't clue you in, this is not safe for work. Or an airplane. Or a church. And probably not grandma's house, either.
Warning: NSFW!
So while researching my incoming links, I found the following paragraphs regarding Peer Pressure, the Ottoman Rapists along with the Rohal/Osborne follow-up:
FIQUE DE OLHO NO SEU PUFE: O maior sucesso da semana na Internet é a descoberta de Pretty Ricky - Late Night Special, onde adolescentes egocêntricos (redundância?) violentam o pobre pufe da sala de todas as maneiras imagináveis, num intenso e altamente homoerótico gangbang, em que os indivíduos se alternam entre fazer sexo sem concessão com o pobre móvel e se seduzirem com seus movimentos peristálticos frente ao espelho. Você nunca mais vai olhar para a sua mobília do mesmo modo novamente. Veja o vídeo aqui, mas assegure-se de ter aguarrás para limpar seus olhos por perto. Tem uma variação do ato também, chamado "Pretty Ricky - Lingerie". A quem o pobre pufe vai recorrer?
Como eu vou ligar Pretty Ricky aos Mumblecorers? Fácil: em menos de uma semana Kent Osborne (uma das vozes no desenho Bob Esponja e ator de Hannah Takes The Stairs) e Todd Rohal (diretor de The Guatemalan Handshake e também ator no filme de Joe Swanberg) encarnam Peer Pressure e te ensinam como blogar.
I used my Mac's Sherlock to effect a translation, and well, this is what I got:
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