Some model wannabe is currently having a loud conversation in the Starbucks I am in with her dealer. It goes like this:
“But then I have to wait until 7! I don’t want to wait until 7!”
“Can’t I come over now? I really need something! I’m like, totally falling asleep!”
Pause, while I and the rest of the customers try to stifle our laughs and look at each other incredulously.
“No! I’m totally falling asleep!”
Gets up and walks to the entryway and we cease to stifle our laughs and a full-on belly laugh guffaw takes over the room.
She definitely gets a Bernie Award for that. What a Stupid Bastard!
The Rabbi Report’s 2nd ever Bernie Award for Stupid Bastards has been awarded to outgoing Newcastle United
fuckwit winger Laurent Robert. For the second time in as many days, has been fined two-week’s wages (£80,000) for opening his giant Gallic gob. Robert, who’s season-long loan to relegation-risk Portsmouth becomes final on Friday, has verbally attacked his soon-to-be-former manager Graeme Souness (Left) twice in two days. On Tuesday he referred to Souness as “childish,” continuing, “We would have won the UEFA Cup last season if Souness had possessed the intelligence,” according to published reports.
The Chimp in Charge is about to give a nationally televised speech on Iraq. W will almopst certainly use: democracy, liberty, freedom and of course,
tea bagging god.
Check back here for my, uh, analysis of the speech.
The Rabbi Report‘s first ever “Stupid Bastard Award” goes to Ipswich, England’s own Bernie Ecclestone. The president and CEO of Formula One Management and Formula One Administration, Ecclestone owns such large percentage shares of the companies that make up Formula One that he’s considered the de factor head of the circuit. You might say he’s like the Karl Rove of F-1. But less evil and more, well, stupid.
On Sunday he was asked by WRTV in Indianapolis about his opinion of Indy 500 breakout star Danica Patrick and he replied: