Random Thoughts: Airplane Toilets & Calvin Trillin (Not Related)

In Praise of Calvin Trillin
I urge you all to read Calvin Trillin’s Op-Ed piece in Friday’s New York Times entitled “Park, He Said.” At the very LEAST, it will give you a few minutes of laughter in a world disturbingly bereft of such (automatic meatloaf carver, anyone?). If, however, you’re not familiar with Mr. Trillin’s work, you’ll be introduced to one of the shining lights of modern literature. A thoughtful, incisive and often laugh out loud funny chronicler of, well, things that suit his fancy. A satirist, as well as a top-notch food and travel writer and self-proclaimed doggerelist, “Bud,” as he is known by friends (I name drop on behalf of my parents, not me) is a true original and should not be missed.
Airline Toilets and the General Public
Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that there’s a sign in airplane lavatories that reads something like:

Disposing of anything other than toilet paper in the toilet can cause external leaks and poses a safety hazard.

Is it just me or does that read something like “If you try to flush a load of solid objects down this loo, you might just bring this plane down.” Sounds like an invitation to a deranged (or simply determined) passenger. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer that the idea not even be hinted at. How about a little lie? Something like: “Using anything other than toilet paper in this lavatory risks damaging the toilet and causing the entire plane to smell like poo?” That would sure stop me from pouring a load of ball bearings down the bog and might not give some nutty nut bar any bad ideas.
Just a thought.

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