What's Good For Baseball And Why I Don't Care

Most of the time, I have the best interest of baseball at heart. I am against the DH, even though its abolition would surely mean that magnificent hitters like Edgar Martinez, Paul Molitor and Harold Baines would have had shorter careers, thus depriving us of the joy of watching them hit. Why am I against the DH? Because it's in the best interest of baseball. I am in favor of a salary cap, even though it's un-American, unfairly restricts wages and is the lesser of the two solutions to the problem. Why and I in favor of a salary cap? Because I don't see the owners deciding, individually, that they aren't going to outspend each other in order to pay these guys tens of millions of dollars per year. It's in the best interest of baseball. Now, why don't I give a flying fuck about whether or not the Sox win is good for baseball? Because I am a Yankees fan, you dope!

Let me lay it out for all of you that hate the Yankees (fair enough, to be sure) and those of you who don't understand why I can hate the prick that owns the team and still love the Yankees. Also, how can I still love a sport that implicitly condones steroid use, price gouges its core fans and brings politics and religion into the game by singing God Bless American at the 7th inning stretch because we're at war? (Like the Star Spangled Banner isn't enough?) The only thing I can say in my (and its) defense is, it's baseball. The perfect game. And they're the Yankees.

I don't love the team because they're great or because they've won 26 World Series or because of any of the players (although I have my favorites, from time to time). It's because I was 6 or 7 when my dad took me to a Yankees game against the Milwaukee Brewers. I was a New Yorker. I was a little kid. The Mets sucked. Veni, Vidi, Yankees fan, see? I don't think my dad was much of a Yankees fan, as he usually roots for the underdog, so why he didn't take me to Shea is beyond me, but Yankee Stadium it was. And a grander place in all of sport there is not. Fenway is a lovely, historic and fun old ballpark, full of charm, character and ghosts. Wrigley, lights excepted, looks to be much the same (I must visit it one of these days). Boston Garden (RIP), Maple Leaf Gardens (no longer home to the Leafs) and Soldier Field have their share of history about them as well. But to a 7 year-old baseball nut, walking into Yankee Stadium on a summer night with a crowd of 40,000 buzzing, the smells of peanuts, stale beer, grass and excitement all commingling in your head...nothing beats it.

If Fenway is the quirky great uncle who gives you chocolate and dozes off mid-story and Wrigley is the flighty great aunt who can never remember your name or where she put her keys, then Yankee Stadium is the tall, imposing, white-haired grandfather who is stern but fair and never lets you stay up past your bedtime....Except on your birthday and on special occasions...like a really good, classic movie on TV that you watch together while he tells you his memories of that time. He always makes you do your homework and always believes you first in a dispute. In short, he's always on your side, even when punishing you for doing wrong. He's Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Phil Rizzuto, Whitey Ford and Joe DiMaggio. He's also Yogi Berra, Bill Dickey, Don Mattingly, Billy Martin, Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Dave Winfield, Reggie Jackson and Roger Maris. He's Catfish, Rags, Donnie Baseball, Mr. October, The Commerce Comet, The Iron Horse, Super Chief , Scooter, The Chairman of the Board and Mick the Quick. He's also lesser-known (these days) names like Urban Shocker, Walter Koenig, Tony Lazzari, Earl Combs, Waite Hoyt, Bob Cerv and Jim Spencer. He's Captain Thurman Munson (RIP). And he's Bucky Fuckin' Dent.

The same could be written, with different names of course, by fans of the Red Sox, Cubs and St. Louis Cardinals. Not by Tampa Bay Devil Rays or Anaheim Angels fans, though.

So, gentle reader, that's why I love the Yankees, why I root for them when they are 114-48 and when they're 67-95, 21 games off the pace. And it's why I will be cheering like MAD for the Red Sox to lose the world series. After all, they're the Red Sox and I want them to lose. Why? Because I'm a Yankee fan, you dope!